Censored Conversations

(It's ok not to say everything...or anything)

Have you ever gotten crap news? More than crap news, all the four-letter-words-at-once kind of news. The kind you literally feel your soul drop, either out of your body, or to the lowest point you didn't even know existed.

I was given news like this on Wednesday...I think the most soul dropping news since my son's brain cancer diagnosis. To say that I was reeling was an understatement. I was completely submerged and didn't even want to fight to the surface for air. I was paralyzed.

What was you news?

How far did the shock wave reach?

After 96 hours, I finally have come up for air. But I'm still disoriented, my brain is melting out between my ears. At least I feel the melting out slowing down. Maybe that's because there's nothing left in there.

Did you tell anyone your news?

The news that changed the trajectory of your journey...again?

This whole silver lining thing is overrated.

Ever heard there is time and place?

There is a season for everything?

Maybe earth shattering news is a season in itself, long or short but still a season.

And you can't rush seasons.

They just happen.

A natural part of existence, created to move life forward, change, and renew.

The length of seasons vary all over the world.

Depending on where we are in our journey can impact how long the season is.

So when you told someone your boulder-rolling news, what was the response?

I think people don't know what to say. And I think that's because people are uncomfortable with bad news. Like we're supposed to not acknowledge the bad and hard part of the news, the season.

For example, I tell someone I'm in the middle of a hurricane. Winds raging and I can't leave where I'm at or I'll be swept away by the current, the strength of a force I can't control.

And then someone says, "Well, at least you have shelter for now." Or, "Hurricanes don't last forever."

Not. Helpful.

In fact, you regret sharing your news and now you just want to throat punch that person and you feel guilty for feeling that, which adds more gale force winds to storm.

You're ready to explode internally, externally.

And nobody is acknowledging the strength of the storm, the paralyzing fear coursing throughout your entire being, and there's no rescue team coming.

The hurricane just is.

When you're alone, what do you want most? What do you need most?

To know you're not alone.

To know you're seen in the storm. For the hurricane to be acknowledged for what it is. It's strength, unknown and changing trajectory. And that simple fact you're scared out of your mind.

That this season exists. And because you're unfamiliar with this part of the journey's landscape, you have no idea what's next in this season.

Traveling alone in the unknown can suck.

A wise man said we are to love our neighbors.

The definition of neighbors is people around me, in close proximity to me.

Maybe that means when we're driving, the car in front of us, that just cut us off.

Mabe that means the checkout guy at the store.

Maybe a parent/sibling/family member on the phone that you can hardly talk to because your brain will explode if you listen to them complain about nothing one more time.

So What does this have to do with my hurricane? This soul dropping season? This news that broke my heart at bedrock level?

Stay with me. I think there's weight to this next part.

Be in the storm with them. Dress for their season.

Acknowledge the overwhelming force in their life, the lack of control, the paralyzing fear of the unknown. The constant beating on their body, their mind, their soul.

That's it.

Pretty simple really.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

What would you want someone to say or not say to you?

What grace would you want extended to you?

What words would bring you peace?

What words would piss you off?

And say those words. Or don't say those words.

Be present.

Be still.

Be love.

Just BE.

With them, with you, in whatever season your neighbor is in.

Let me have my season. Let them have their season.

When Jesus was given life shattering news, news that broke His heart, there aren't follow up words his closest friends said that sounded like, "Cheer up." "It'll be okay." "Give it time."

Jesus had his seasons of grief, sadness, and joy. And walked through all of them. Not running, not rushing. He experienced them to the fullest.

And when we're in a season, our neighbors our in a season, walk with them. Don't rush the season, don't make them run through it.

Seasons happen.

BUT....(here's the truth), seasons don't last forever.

Seasons have a beginning. And an end.

There is a design for seasons. A purpose.

Seasons are necessary.

Your season was planned for, designed. For purpose.

That's all I know. I don't have magic words to make it better. Sometimes there are no words.

But I know, and you know, somewhere deep in the whispers of your soul, seasons begin and end.

I don't want someone else to tell me that while I'm in.

Acknowledge this designed season, the bad, the good.

See me in this. Be with me in this.

Hang on for dear life with me. Please.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

Do with them, be with them as you want someone to do or be with you, to you, in the season, in the hurricane, the tornado, the desert, the oasis, the overflowing abundance, the thickest forest floor where light is hidden.

What season are you in?

Really?

Who's with you? What do you need? A life jacket? A coat? Shoes? Water? A fire? A punching bag? Surprise coffee?

What sustenance do you need to make it through?

See people for the season they're in.

"Be kind. For everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about."

Be softer, kinder, gentler, respectful.

Tread lightly with your words.

Say something, or don't say anything.

But give me this moment.

And remember when I can't...that seasons are designed.

And seasons begin.

And seasons end.