(There are definitely two sets of footprints...) I'm not sure about the whole Footprints in the Sand poem. If you're anything like me, you wanted it tattooed, quoted it to others while they were going through it as a line of encouragement... But I'm seriously questioning the meaning behind it right now. There, of course, are verses where we are carried and renewed like wings like eagles, restored, given strength; all of these promises are incredible and necessary for the fra

I need faith. I want rugged Faith. I want enduring Faith. How do I get it? Rest on the character of Him who is the eternal I Am. “If your faith rests in the idea of heaven here on earth or pie in the sky or whatever, then that kind of faith is very shaky and is bound to be demolished when the storms of life hit. But if your faith rests on the character of Him who is the eternal I AM, then that kind of faith is rugged and will endure.” -Elizabeth Elliot, rugged and enduring

(When life gives you lemons...and they stay lemons. Navigating unchosen suffering) I'm finding there's lots out there about pre-suffering, what life was like before _______ (insert yours here). And then there's counseling and therapy options for post traumatic events, post suffering. Suffering is an active, present tense verb, an action currently in process. This seems to be an area we, as humans, tend to un-notice. I found a term that resonated deeply with me-unchosen suff

(It's ok not to say everything...or anything) Have you ever gotten crap news? More than crap news, all the four-letter-words-at-once kind of news. The kind you literally feel your soul drop, either out of your body, or to the lowest point you didn't even know existed. I was given news like this on Wednesday...I think the most soul dropping news since my son's brain cancer diagnosis. To say that I was reeling was an understatement. I was completely submerged and didn't eve

(Warning: No Exit in Site...Yet) If you're reading this, the word 'valley' resonates with you somehow. Maybe you thought of a camping trip, hiking trail, rafting or canoeing adventure. Maybe you immediately felt connected to the word because that's where you are right now, as a holistic being. Maybe you've been here for a while, or just got here, or have scaled the cragged walls to get out. And you've looked, climbed, waited, and there's simply NO.WAY.OUT. At least from wh

(What we all have in common but no one likes to talk about) Being around death and walking others through death is kind of my thing. After twenty years in healthcare, I've seen more death than most people see in their lifetime. And like most people, I wonder what the point was. Seems only up to this point, the only special power seeing death gave me was PTSD. ​ And then Aron was diagnosed with medulloblastoma September 4th. The verse that keeps coming back is 'for such a tim

Choosing Moments The day was a regular day with two boys and one with cancer. My healthy one wanted some one on one mommy time. So I had a plan; give the dog a bath, get the one with cancer set up, then go for a jeep ride with healthy boy. The dog was almost done with the bath when I heard from my son, Aron needs you, he's throwing up. My brain was flooded with options. Get the dog finished up, clean the tub, clean up puke on the floor, medicate...etc. If I had completed the

New term for moms Definition: When mom's have so many thoughts in their heads, a thought literally pops out and it's gone, poof, like a glitter fart

What's so great about balance anyways? But what if I fall? Oh but, my darling, what if you fly? Who came up with the word balance anyway? The concept of balance is a blazing force towards fulfillment in our culture. But have you ever thought about how hard balance is to keep and sustain? Think about the picture of balance-A beam, balancing on a ball, the tip of your toes, a tight rope, spinning a ball on your finger. To put it bluntly, balance is exhausting and takes all of

The Freedom of Choice and the Price of Possibility So you've figured out where you're at in life. Got your bearings, identified the landscape, figured out the friendly and not-friendlys of wildlife and vegetation. You're free to start your journey once more, get back to movement, start again. But what if the destination isn't so clear now? What if you're not sure about continuing the path you're on? What if, during the honesty and fight and raging rapids you've gotten throug

(So...Where is that Exactly?) You set out for an adventure. You think you have everything you need. You know where to start, how long the adventure is, and where the goal is. And then life happened. Google maps is broken. A storm came and watered out the lines on the map. You lost your compass. Suddenly, there are no maps or trail guides to tell you where to go next. All you know is you have no idea where you are now. Or maybe you know where you are, but you don't want t